we went a swingin'

over the weekend, we decided to ignore the lingering snow piles and celebrate spring by taking a trip to the park.  ramsey tried out the swings for the first time and his reaction was priceless!  i wanted to just freeze time and soak up that entire moment.  i can't get enough of his chubby, little legs pumping and swinging and his contagious giggles.  enjoy the little video i captured with our phone.

here's to bare feet, future picnics + park dates, and hoping spring comes soon!

not so tiny anymore

Ramsey and I (about 6 months ago)

My little boy turns one this month. I know babies grow up and many mothers have been through the "oh my goodness, they're one!" stage, but I'm still in disbelief.

It's almost like the day Ramsey unexpectedly made his appearance was yesterday, but it also feels like ages ago. After looking at pictures of myself that day, I feel like I don't really know who that woman is holding a tiny newborn staring back at me with tired eyes that haven't even experienced true exhaustion yet.

My son came at such a transformative time in my life -- I just didn't know it. Yes, I know, children change everything. They make you think deeper and re-evaluate who you are and how you act. You have a little human watching you now. You realize the influence and responsibility you have.

But, there was more that changed inside of me. It was more than needing to deal with selfish desires and struggling with having to be responsible for another little human being 24/7.

You see, I wasn't ready to change my priorities. I wasn't ready to balance life or create boundaries.

I wanted to fight the changes and convince myself that life could go on just as it was before.  I could do everything and be everything -- I would just be able to do it all with an adorable little baby now.

I wanted to throw pity parties.  I wanted to wallow in having to let go of "my things", "my time", my views of how life should be lived.  And I did.

Over the past year, God have loosened my fingers and grasp one by one on everything I held tightly.  Let me tell you, it hurts.  At times I want to fight back, battling to taste the sickly sweet feeling of control once again. But, it always results in me laying it all down (or, more like falling) again, desperate for Him.  He continues to graciously soften my prideful heart and shifted my perspective.

This past year has shook me and rocked me and blessed me over and over.

I'm not the same woman.

I don't have the same views or even the same goals.

And I am so ridiculously thankful for that.

Later this month, I won't only be celebrating my little boy turing one.  I will also be celebrating and worshipping this precious, gracious and patient God that continues to bless and mold me beyond comprehension with lessons, trials, and sweet rewards.

I wasn't ready to learn lessons from my baby boy and it was a struggle to accept the change that motherhood would bring into my life a year ago, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

our weekend :: the holidays are here!

i keep pinching myself ... really, did thanksgiving just happen?  is christmas less than a month away?

i just love this time of year.  i feel so giddy about everything.  i find myself making mental lists of different gifts i want to make for people, bakery treats i want to make, and family traditions i want to start with our tiny family this year.  i have multiple different plans for our decor and christmas tree ... not to mention the different ideas i have to celebrate advent throughout all of december.  the lists, christmas music and extra sugary treats sweep me up in a euphoria of tinsel and craziness.

thankfully, last night i had some quiet time in a still house.  i found myself thinking of past christmases as a little girl and all of the new traditions to come.  the to-do lists and expectations began to sort themselves out as i realized the importance of slowing down.  slowing down to actually soak up and enjoy this time of year.  slowing down to actually contemplate and understand advent.

---

this weekend we had some much needed family time.  on friday night, we went to our town's christmas celebration called "dickens of a christmas".  all of the shop windows are full of people in costumes acting out various classic christmas scenes, traveling musicians are caroling or playing instruments walking up and down the streets, and there are plenty of christmas cookies and hot cider.  it definitely feels like you are transported back in time.  i love it.

then, on saturday we went out with my husband's family to search for some christmas trees.  they have gone to the same place for 20 years to cut down their christmas trees.  it's fun to hike through the woods and try to spot the best tree.  my husband's favorite part, of course, is cutting it down and having to drag it to the car.  :)

our tree is currently up in our dining room, waiting to be decorated.  i'm looking forward to tackling it tonight!

i hope you're enjoying the beginning of this beautiful holiday season.  

it's the little things in life

... because some times after a long & emotional week, all you need is a slow walk outside in the fresh autumn air and a simple picnic with people you love to remind you what's really important.

Wishing a beautiful weekend, everyone.  

We will be soaking up all that autumn has to offer ... farmer's markets, 

fall festivals, perhaps a bike race or two, any pumpkin and/or apple item we can get our hands on, 

and late night wine on the patio after the little one is asleep (of course).  

+++

six months

Our baby boy turns six months today.

Six months.  Where did the time go?  It feels like just yesterday I was sitting in a hospital bed in complete denial that this little boy was making his surprise entrance into the world that day.  He hasn't stopped surprising me since.  

Oh, little one.  

I hope you know how much I love you and how you make my heart feel so, so very full.  

You have taught me so much in these past six months.  

Thank you for being patient and forgiving with me & for having the best giggle in the world.  

Your Dad and I can't wait to grow more with you.      

I love you to the moon and back (twice).

- your blessed mama

whoa babe. slow down.

Lately, life around here has been beautiful whirlwind of sleep schedules, family hikes, farmer market veggies, finding time for creativity, and soaking up every last bit of summer.  It's been interesting to see my shift in perspective since becoming a mama.  Living life has become more about slowing down and trying to enjoy every moment instead of racing around and doing, doing, doing.  I still have to remind myself daily to just be and enjoy the moment, but it's refreshing to have a new found contentment and peace.  I think I always equated slowing down with not being good enough or being successful enough.  I'm able to see how incredibly false that perspective is now (even though it still nags at me on and off ... just keeping it real).

Having this cute little babe has made me realize how fast life literally flies by.  I feel like just yesterday I was holding a tiny newborn in a hospital bed and now he's already almost 5 months and starting to eat cereal?  Hold the phone.  What?!  He just makes my heart burst. 

     

two years

two years ago I had no idea we would be on the journey we are today.

two years ago I had no clue about the things I would learn about myself and life while married to you.

we have laughed.  we have cried.  we have danced.  we have yawned.  and we have ate a lot of ice cream.      

marriage is the best thing and the hardest thing I have ever been a part of -- and I am so incredibly lucky to be sharing it with a husband that is so patient and forgiving with me, so loving towards our babe, and such a servant with anyone he meets.  he always reminds me of what's really important in life and strives to be such a strong leader for our family.  

... and it doesn't hurt that he has the sweetest smile that  melts my heart and gives the best kisses either.

here's to many, many more anniversaries! 

weekend of rest

This past weekend was a weekend of rest.  It was so much fun to escape as a family and enjoy the each other's company without the craziness of meetings, company, or a messy house getting in the way.  

I think we drove on the most gorgeous country roads over the weekend.  I drive on them every summer, and they still capture my attention every time I'm driving on them.  I had to pull to the side of the road to take a picture of this cornfield.  The way the morning sun was hitting the cornstalks ... and the sky was just so.  Goodness.  How ridiculous do I sound! 

 Coffee and watermelon was our diet of choice.  

 There is something about water that I just love.  It has such a calming affect on me.  I can't put my finger on it, but I am definitely a water girl.  

 I found some goodies from the garden and farm market that I am beyond excited about.  Fresh produce ... yes!  (Those blueberries may already be all gone ... )  

We discovered an old mill that was made into a coffee house in the middle of nowhere.  The owners were so incredibly nice.  I could sit on their porch for hours.  

... here's to more weekends for taking it slow, realizing simple beauty, and enjoying loved ones.