Checking In

It's super easy for me to want to check out when life gets challenging. A "quick" five minutes scrolling my phone in the bathroom with the door closed? Grabbing a book before bed instead of diving into conversation with my husband that's been gone all day? Leaving the house for a walk (alone!) when all the freaking legos get dumped out, the couch cushions are all on the floor (again) and matchbox car tracks are scaling almost every surface? 

Sign me up. 

It's tricky. A fresh walk to clear your mind, a new book, getting inspired online... all helpful things. But, I've felt super convicted this past week. It's okay to catch your breath for a bit before you hop back into the game of life, but it's so easy to justify them.

There is good that comes when I decide to lean in instead of checking out. Super painful at times, but awfully rewarding. I was reminded recently that rest and self-care are very important in the right context. Why is it so easy to make every good thing an idol?!

I'm learning that there are no easy answers. There are no formulas. It's not about always being available and saying yes, and it isn't about always resting and minding your margin. It's not necessarily about deleting all the apps or setting a timer. I think it's much grayer and not measurable. 

Maybe living life is more about being content in the situation God placed you and asking for His insight on how to make decisions and use our time well. There are times I know God wants me to do the unexpected and stretch myself beyond the energy or focus I think I have. It doesn't make sense in the world's standards. I can feel my self wanting to check out, but I know that would be a missed opportunity for my vulnerability and dependency on God to shine. 

I want things to be neat and tidy, but I'm learning it's much more about being okay with the unexpected and humbly honest about the needs I may have. I think that might be what a vessel that brings goodness to our community around us looks like.