Saturday, July 7, 2012

how he loves :: {new momma thoughts}

As I write this, my babe is to my right ... sleeping all swaddled up in his bassinet.  The temperatures are in the 100's in Wisconsin, so he is having sleepovers in our bedroom until the temperature goes down in his room.  I find myself glancing over at him constantly ... drinking in his every last feature.  The long eye lashes, pink cheeks, and peaceful face makes my heart melt every time.  Our babe has just started to giggle, coo, and smile more.  Seeing and hearing him be so happy is probably the best thing ever.  I can't even fathom how my love continues to grow and grow for him.  This little boy is teaching me what it means to be a momma; to let go of all self-centeredness and to love with a love so deep it hurts.

A few nights ago, while thinking about the over-abundance of crazy love I have for this little man, God grabbed my attention.

"Meg, that is how I feel about YOU.  That smile you get when you see your babe smile?  I smile when you smile.  The heartbreak you feel?  My heart breaks for you when I watch you suffer.  I want the best for you.  Be with me ... let go of control.   Let me guide you and be your Father. "

I always thought I understood as well as I could the intimate connection I had as God's daughter.  But, I was paralyzed with intense awe after making the correlation I spoke about above.  To think thad God stares at me that way that I stare at my little boy ... drinking in his every feature.  Awe-ing over how perfectly created he his.  It blows my mind that God thinks so similarly about us.  He so intensely wants us to be happy and looks out for our best interests.  He created me ... you ... us ... with passions, desires, creativity that shouldn't be silenced and that has great purpose.  He delights in us.  He loves us.

God is so great.  I am so blessed.

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