influence conference linkup!

www.theinfluencenetwork.com

Today I am linking up with many, many lovely ladies that are going to the Influence Conference later this month!  I am beyond excited for the conference this year.  If you are interested even a tiny bit, I strongly urge you to just check out the conference website to see what it's all about.  I went last year on a brave whim and it was the best decision.  I am amazed at the community of women that I have gotten to learn from, have fun with, and just "do life" with through the Influence Conference and network.

We were asked to answer to questions.  So, without further ado, here are my "2 things" ...

2 things I will have packed in my bag:
1) dry shampoo
2) notebook and pen (I'm a note taker, list maker, and everything in between.)

2 things I'm looking forward to about the conference: 
1) Meeting friends (new and old) and having community together over the weekend.  Whether it be over coffee, dinner, late at night in our rooms ... I'm really looking forward to sharing stories.
2) The life sessions.  It's been a busy season for our family, and I can't wait to sit quietly and just soak up some wisdom + learning time.

I really can't wait to see everyone in only a few short weeks!

going through God's story

We are currently going through the entire Bible as a church.  Every Sunday we have focused on a different section of the Bible.  The sermon this morning focused a lot on Paul and his final days.  I didn't expect it, but going through God's entire story chronologically has really refreshed my perspective and given me a different thirst for God that I haven't really experienced before.

Anyways, I feel like I've heard Paul's story so often.  It's the one story I remember most from Sunday School.  I didn't expect to really learn anything new from it this morning.  But, something just didn't sit quite right with me half way through.  Towards the end of Paul's life, he makes the comment that he's "fought the good fight".  He was already "poured out as an offering.... he gave it his all".  

All I could think about from that point on is how desperately I want to be able to say the same thing when that time comes for me.  What kind of a legacy am I leaving?  How am I using my influence and purpose right now to further His goodness? 

I guess it was a reminder for me to stop selling myself short.  To stop making things so complicated.  To know my story and know my purpose.  To believe that God takes ordinary people and gives them a purpose.

It's up to me to know who I was before and after God.  It's up to me to know the God-given purpose I have and to pursue God so much with that in mind that I develop such a passion for living it out.  

Some times I want things to be so easy, but I make them so complicated at the same time.  

Long story short, learning about God's story is giving me a passion for my own story.      

initial thoughts about honduras : part 1

My husband and I traveled to Honduras with Mission Lazarus and just returned home a few days ago.  We had an intense experience while we were there.  I've been waiting for the perfect words to come to me, but I don't think our experience can be pinned down and kept behind words that won't justify the emotions and thoughts I'm having.  It feels like an injustice.  I was hoping to document our days while we were there, but our wireless connection was limited up in the mountains.  It was a gift to have to put pen to paper and write the old fashioned way.  Some of my initial thoughts will have to suffice for now, but I'm not done sharing.  

God is working and moving in Honduras.  The integrity and dignity that the Hondurans have was enough of a lesson for me throughout the week.  Their gentleness and patience as I stumbled and stuttered through the little Spanish I knew brought an instant vulnerability to our quick relationships ... a vulnerability that is hard to come by in America. 

While we were there, we worked with local masons to build a brick house.  Apparently wood houses will only last about a year in Honduras because of the termite situation, and the mission that we were working with wanted to provide something that could last for generations and could be passed down from family member to family member.  When we weren't building, we went to a local school and loved on about 100 kids and taught them about Jesus' love.  During one of our sessions with the students, we asked "why is it important to have a relationship with Jesus?" and a 6 or 7 year old confidently said, "because He saves us".  There is such an innocence and joy that these children possess while living in such dire situations by our standards.  

We visited a trade school were local Hondurans were risking their reputation (and basically their livelihood and live) by teaching youth absolutely beautiful leather and wood working.  These students walked 2 - 3 hours one way to get to school every day.  The effort and determination that they possess is convicting.   

We also spent much of our week discussing Honduran politics and the state of their country.  We had many discussions about how to keep the dignity of the Honduran people while being an American.  It was quite evident that there is great, great work happening in Honduras, but that we as Americans weren't *needed* as we desperately think we are.  God is moving there with or without us.  I became more and more sensitive to the pride factor that some times gets wrapped up in mission work over seas.  

To put it simply, our trip to Honduras was the start of a bit of an unraveling in our hearts and was more of a trip for us than for the people we interacted with there (which seems so crazy and counterintuitive). Being involved in ministry with my husband is such a blessing, but also such hard work.  Working together on this trip opened our eyes to how we want to *do* ministry and what that looks like.

I'm still wrestling with a lot of experiences and memories and crazy thoughts that I hope to share as they rattle themselves out of my heart, through my brain and onto the screen.  I'm looking forward to opening up a discussion about mission work and sharing more about my thoughts and experiences.  

honduras

mission lazarus

I'm leaving for Honduras in a few days.  I haven't been sleeping much and my thoughts are jumbled and fuzzy instead of focused and crisp.  I'm emotional and sentimental and busy (and low on sleep!) ... all things that make things a little wacky when combined.

All I can think about is how much I am going to learn and feel through this trip.  This trip that is supposed to be a trip full of helping and serving others.  Who am I to go?  Who am I to teach and love and serve with these people across the globe?  People that have far, far less than me are going to show me love.  Show me devotion.  Show me service.  Show me community.

To tell you the truth, I'm scared to let myself feel all of these emotions.

Right now I'm a jumbled mess trying to make sense of life and all the thoughts.  But, maybe it's not all about "making sense" of the mess.  Of life.  Of the differences and our shortcomings.  I don't think it's supposed to be all black and white or easy to figure out.

There's a reason life wrecks us some times.

It's all about holding on to that reason and being changed because of it.

Prayers appreciated over the next few weeks.  I'll keep you all updated on our experiences and travels!

summer with a boy

To tell you the truth, I was so nervous to find out that we were having a boy while I was pregnant.  A lot of my friends that were Moms had daughters, I had an older sister, and the majority of my cousins (who are like siblings to me!) are girls as well.  The unknown was daunting and I had no clue how I was going to connect to this little guy that was growing inside of me.  

Now, with a year and a couple months under my belt as a Mom, I couldn't see my life any other way.  I would be lying if I didn't admit that there are days I wish Ramsey was just a little bit less active and daring, but when I'm honest with myself I realize how much of a gift having an active and adventurous boy has been. 

The summer is going by way too fast (as it always does), but my guy and I have really enjoyed every last bit.  I have really gotten to know him on a different level over the past few months and we have connected like never before.  We have spent more hours outside rather than inside and have explored almost every inch of our backyard and the trails by our house.  It's so much fun to watch him be so purely excited and full of joy.  There is always a hill to climb, some dirt to get into, and some bird searching to be done.    

devil's lake trail run

One of my prayers this summer was to say yes to things that make me nervous. I started the summer knowing that I want to stretch my "fearless muscle" and learn how to be more bold with living my life.

One of the first things on my to do list was to run a trail half marathon. I've ran quite a few races before, but never on a trail (and especially such a technical and steep trail that we would be running at this particular race). I was so excited leading up to the race. I trained on the mountain bike trails that you can see from our back yard (and even got lost a few times...). I still can't believe how amazing it feels to run on a trail. After running on road for years, I never want to do another road race! Being in the woods, dodging roots and rocks, trudging up inclines and flying down hills .... it's gorgeous and so freeing.

The race ended up going quite well. The first 5 or 6 of the miles were a pretty steep incline (I seriously thought to myself "what was I thinking?!!?"), but the view once you got to the top of the cliff and the rush of accomplishment when you came out of the woods and across the finish line was so worth it.  I ended up finishing near the top of my age group and pretty well overall.  I am officially hooked!

We have another endurance trail race on our list for in September. Are there any other trail runners out there?

courageous + bold

I just finished reading "Forgotten God" by Francis Chan and I just can't shake a few thoughts out of my head.  I love it when I finish a book and the inspiration that it evokes lingers for a few days.  "Forgotten God" makes the argument that Christians often down-play and ignore the impact that the Holy Spirit has on our every day lives.  Chan says that we're not here on earth to merely survive, but our fearful and self centered attitudes distract us from living out God's grand and ultimate plan.  I don't know about you, but I tend to be an overly cautious person.  I like control and order in my life.  Figuring out different systems for how to complete a task easier excites me.  I eat the same few things for breakfast and lunch almost every single day.  Clutter makes me feel like I can't breathe.  I like predicability and feeling safe.  

Reading this book really made me stop and think about how I love my safe and predicable life.  I realized I like to depend upon my how understanding way too often than I would like to admit.

But, man, do I ever desire to be courageous and bold.  

"God wants the praise for what we do in our lives. But if we never pray audacious, courageous prayers, how can He answer them? If we never follow Him to positions where we need Him, how can He show up and make His presence known?"

I desire such a needy and dependent relationship with God.  I want to walk with Him morning, noon, and night.  I don't want to get through a day without asking for guidance and listening to nudges. I don't want to just think and plan... I want to courageously act. 

My prayer is that I seek God way more than I seek my own answers and solutions.  That I choose to let Him weave my story into His grand plan instead of clenching the pen in my hand and not letting go of my own plans. I pray that His dreams become my dreams. I pray for His strength to seek, act, and follow.