we all have influence :: weekend conference recap

{{This is just the beginning of many posts about the influence conference.  I was completely wrecked by the women I met and by this conference.  Wrecked in such a good, good way.  Please excuse my crazy thoughts as I still sort all the amazing, amazing things out in my head.}}

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Good gracious.  Where do I even start?  This past weekend I had the honor of joining 200 other amazing, fun and gracious women in Indianapolis at the Influence Conference.  Before heading to Indiana, I was excited about making new friends, having some much needed time away, and gaining some knowledge about how to use my voice online.  That sounds nice and all ... but, wow, this conference was

so.
much.
more.

I'm still recovering from how the speakers and conversations with others left me incredibly wrecked, but encouraged.  I made friends with women I had never met before "in real life" and clicked instantly.  These women are some of the most genuine, real and admirable women I know -- no joke.  I learned creative and tangible ways to use my voice and influence online.

I'm sorry if this all sounds a little gimmicky, but it's all entirely true.  

I left my house early Thursday morning feeling worn out.  Nervous.  Unsure.  Guilty.  Exhausted.  Being a new mom and in a new phase of life has thrown me for a loop.  Over the past few months I have questioned myself and my purpose.  My confidence has slowly slopped down into a valley.  I often felt unsure of how to act, what to say, how to live my days.  I made everything look pretty and perfect on the outside, while I felt like such a screw up and crazy person on the inside.  

While at Influence, I had the atmosphere and space to come to terms with the mess I had going on inside of me.  I connected with other women that struggled with wanting to "do it all" and came to terms with being broken and real about life.  We came together and shared our stories of encouragement and brokenness.  Jessi said it perfectly, "When we want to do it all; when we try to minister out of ourselves, we will bleed out.  The problem is... our blood is no good.  Jesus already did it all and His blood is good enough."

I left Influence feeling full.  Full of confidence in who I'm created to be and want type of artist with influence God created me to have.
I learned to believe in the influence I am blessed with.  
I realized that I need to ensure that I am being influenced by God before I try to influence others.
I now understand that believing & receiving the gospel are different things.
Letting people in is needed.  Being vulnerable is needed.
There are AMAZING women out there once you open yourself to being vulnerable with them.
It doesn't matter how many followers I have.  God will use me how ever He pleases.
Goals and asking for help when needed is where it's at.
Believing in my brand, protecting my brand, and thinking about my brand whenever making a decision is crucial.
Living in His grace and ministering out of His grace is so humbling and needed.

Most of all ... I should know and accept myself.  I have influence now.  tomorrow.  next week.  next year.  How am I going to use it online and off?

At Influence I was able to connect again with God and myself.  I was able to see how He wired me.  I needed to take a back seat to and surrender my "plans".  Who knew that going to Indiana would be life changing?

Now, I'm surrendering every day and every decision to Him.  He's planting new ideas and adventures in me that I'm so, so excited to take on according to His plan.