Friday, June 1, 2012

from the archives :: march, 2010

{originally titled "funky, funk, funk ::: march, 2010}
Hi, my name is Meg and for the past few days I have been in a funk.
I guess the first part is being real with yourself.  Admitting that maybe life hasn’t been the rosiest of glows is tough.  Sometimes I don’t want to wake up from my pretend dream and admit that life has been a little funky (in a not-so-good way).
Right now, I feel like my life is being turned upside down with some exciting changes — new house, marriage, fun job, graduation … phew.  I’m LOOKING FORWARD to these changes amidst the next 3 – 4 ish months like no one’s business.  I cannot wait to feel like I’m finally able to be a full-fledge adult (ha!) and have independence.  I’m so ready….
… but, how do I deal with these changes now?!  Graduation is a month or so away, moving into our new house is about two months away, and our wedding day (eek!) is a little under four months away (not like I’m counting or anything).  To put it bluntly – I want these changes to start happening now. I feel like I’m in between lives and it’s been so hard to focus on really living now and in the moment because I am planning like crazy for the future.  I never want to watch life pass by or miss out on living.  My biggest fear is looking back on my life and feeling like I never truly lived. I get sad just thinking of that thought.
So, I’m going to try to see the beauty in life in every situation.  (Easier said than done — let’s be real)  Even though I feel like I’m pulled between two different lives and I don’t feel like I really have my footing anywhere, I want to take these funky feelings and use them.  Use them to develop myself, work hard on connecting with the people around me, and learn about this life I’m supposed to live.  These next few months are a great time to re-evaluate life and to focus on developing into the woman I’m supposed to be.
Who’s with me?  Let’s team up and fight the funky funk funk.

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