the choice

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I sit down and try to write.  It's almost like I have so many thoughts just bouncing around in my head and I'm trying to slow down to catch one of them to savor and put down on paper.  But, alas I'm too slow.  The thoughts escape out of my hands before I can grasp them and I sit there, feeling overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed, but excited.

I have emotions and inspirations pulsating through me.  I'm starting to see beauty and life and purpose in things that seemed dormant before.

I feel alive again after a season of hibernating.

I want to sit and savor.  Savor the streams of sunlight hitting the wood floor.  Savor the baby coos that are quickly turning to babbling + talking.  Savor the endless inspiration I have for creative project after creative project.  Savor the courageous vulnerability that is daring inside of me.

So, that's what I'm choosing to do.  I'm slowing down to savor.  To taste.  To see.  To feel.  To appreciate.

And to prepare myself for the moving part that will follow.  The part where the pen hits the page.  The brush strokes the canvas.  The details and determination come into play.  Action.

Because, I'm so good with the inspiration.  With the thinking.  And the over-thinking.

But, the action is another story.  With intentionality comes vulnerability.  

Some times it's safe to stay in the thinking part.  But, I don't want to stay safe.  I don't want to be comfortable.  So often I've complained of being paralyzed, creatively dry, lacking purpose, searching for beauty with no beauty to find.

I'm deciding that action is a choice.  A choice I want to be daring enough to make.

So, I'm going to allow myself to savor for a little while.  Soak it all in.

And then, I'm going to step out in faith and out of fear.

Because this life is meant to be lived.

And I'm going to live it.