the "what if" fear

Life is full of decisions.  The season of life our family is in right now is soaked heavy with decision making.  Maybe it's because we're newly parents and we feel the weight of every outcome affecting our little boy in some way or another.  Maybe it's just an outcome of stuffing our lives full to the brim.  In any case, these decisions lately are paralyzing me from moving forward.  I woke up bright and early this morning (a rare occurrence with a newborn), grabbed some coffee in my favorite mug, and sat down for some much needed quiet time.  I couldn't shake this uncomfortable feeling of fear when I contemplated what God wants us to do with some decisions coming up.  This morning, God directed me right to Exodus in the bible and I quickly began to realize that I am putting too much faith in the "what ifs" lately instead of putting my faith in God.  In Exodus, I read about how Moses was so fearful to travel to Egypt to share a message from God.  He continuously pleaded with God about he he wasn't adequate enough to communicate the message.  Moses was so full of fear, even when God continuously assured him that He would help Moses and give him the words to speak.

Exodus 4:11-12 "'Who makes mouths?' the Lord asked him.  Who makes people so they can speak or not speak, hear or not hear, see or not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go, and do as I have told you. I will help you speak well, and I will tell you what to say."

Even after God assures him, the fear continues to eat away at Moses.  He pleads "Lord, please! Send someone else." (Ex. 4:13).

Reading this short passage in Exodus made me realize that I'm giving so much weight to my fears and decision making.  God is right there telling me, "Meg, I will give you the words.  I will give you the wisdom.  Follow along side of me and go where I tell you to go."  But, I still plead with him like Moses.

I'm currently reading through the Soul Detox reading plan on YouVersion.  I remember reading something a while ago that really stuck with me...  "What we fear reveals what we value the most.  What you fear reveals where you trust God the least."  I don't want to place my faith in the "what ifs" or the unknowns.  I want to walk with God, my faith firmly in Him and his direction.  He knows the path our lives should take ... we just have to rest in Him and allow him to direct us.